Walking in Solvang, CA I saw a fallen poppy. This was a week after my father died. The last year of his life I called him Poppy. It's funny how one thing can mean another.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
A Loss So Great
My father died on March 19th, 2007.
Imperfect and brilliant, he was my Dad
and I loved him dearly.
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My mind understands that you are gone.
I can say the words, recall the details
But my heart, Dad. My heart.
Sometimes, just for a minute
I think I’ll be fine.
Then my heart boomerangs back to your house
A house of echoes and unanswered phones
Empty bed, where you lay so long
And I’m shattered again.
Even though I knew you were dying
I couldn’t see it, wouldn’t see it
I thought you were strong enough to stay.
And when I saw that you weren’t
I thought I’d be strong enough
To keep you here. I was wrong.
I’ll always remember. Forever remember
And love you.
So long, Daddy. So long.
I can say the words, recall the details
But my heart, Dad. My heart.
Sometimes, just for a minute
I think I’ll be fine.
Then my heart boomerangs back to your house
A house of echoes and unanswered phones
Empty bed, where you lay so long
And I’m shattered again.
Even though I knew you were dying
I couldn’t see it, wouldn’t see it
I thought you were strong enough to stay.
And when I saw that you weren’t
I thought I’d be strong enough
To keep you here. I was wrong.
I’ll always remember. Forever remember
And love you.
So long, Daddy. So long.
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